We had a Covid wedding. It wasn’t the wedding we had planned but it was perfect and unforgettable.

Our neighbor’s vintage tractor became a photo booth.

Thomas and I got married on May 1, 2020 at the Sonoma County Clerk’s office in Santa Rosa. We wore masks and stood outside the county office building while the clerk married us on speakerphone, she could see us through the one-way glass, but we couldn’t see her. It was just the two of us. No friends, no family – just the unseen county clerk, a county employee as our witness and us! They slid our paperwork to us underneath the door.

It was not what we had planned; we were originally planning to have a small intimate ceremony (on the down low) at San Francisco City Hall on May 1, 2020 followed by a larger party and celebration on our first anniversary May 1, 2021. We had the reservation at SF city hall and paid the fee, but did not yet have our marriage license. Then the shelter in place happened and we could not reach anyone at city hall. Being in the wedding industry, I’m in a lot of forums and groups for wedding professionals and the word was out that SF City Hall weddings were not happening at all until who knows when?

It was slightly upsetting but since not many people knew of our May 1 plan, we easily shifted to thinking our May 1, 2021 date would just become the date we actually tied the knot.

Then one day in April, I was on one of the wedding forums and saw someone asking about wedding cake availability in Sonoma County because they had a couple getting married at the county office. I immediately called the clerk’s office, they had just opened up to do limited weddings for Sonoma County residents, and I found out that we could get our marriage license online and get married right there at the county building. I was warned, “It’s not the most romantic way to get married”. I spoke to Thomas about it and we both agreed that it sounded perfect to us.

There is something about being forced to stay home with the person you love most in the world while a global pandemic is happening that shifts your priorities. The feelings of potential danger, mortality, vulnerability and survival were real and we did not see any reason to wait. When I called, I was told they were only booking through April 30 at that time but I explained our original date was to be May 1 and they let us schedule our ceremony for that day. Yay!

As we excitedly started to talk about our day, two weeks away (!), we decided that we wanted to include some of our closest friends and family in a responsible way. We chose to invite a small gathering, later in the day, to our home where I have my floral design studio and we operate our small flower farm. Since we have a little over an acre, we could keep everyone safely distant and make it short.

We decided to invite our people for cake and champagne for a two-hour timeframe. We called each of our friends and talked to them about the plan, how they had been managing their shelter in place and let them know that if it didn’t feel right to come we totally understood. Our top priority was keeping everyone healthy.

Next I had to find a cake and photographer. It was a challenge since we were still in shelter in place. Luckily, I connected with a wedding planner I know and admire on Instagram - Amy Nichols had posted on her account that she had started a new service “Intimate I Dos” and she was so lovely to help guide me to both our photographer, Julie Mikos, and cake baker, Andrea at The Girl and the Fig in Sonoma.

We spent the weeks leading up to our wedding day working on our property, cleaning it up, taming it, planting and generally sprucing things up. Our dear friends and next door neighbors lent a hand in so many ways – they rolled their vintage tractor over for some country ambiance, lent us a cool old metal barrel to display the cake and just generally helped – thanks Jeff and Cathe!

My stepdaughter, Jacqueline, had been staying with us for several weeks, Thomas’s sons were here and when we came home from our morning ceremony we had a great brunch as a family.

I had already purchased the dress I wore and had some great shoes. Jacquey trimmed my hair and I did my own hair and make up. Thomas wore clothes he already owned. It was delightful not to have the expectations and pressure of a typical wedding. We did buy lots of good champagne and splurged on the cake. At the last minute, we decided to make some small bites for people to have something to eat – bacon, lettuce and tomato skewers, cucumber rounds with smoked salmon and crème fraiche and brioche toast with goat cheese and edible flowers.

Flowers were obviously super important to me and I felt very strongly about using all locally grown flowers. I reached out to my fellow flower farmers and spent time driving to their farms to gather the special blooms. I went to Mandalion Designs for sweet peas and Mandy gifted me some blue Forget me Nots to tuck into my bouquet for the “something blue”, Jennifer from Jenniflower Sonoma dropped off her luscious garden roses, Lennie from B-Side provided the butterfly ranunculus, foxglove and other gorgeous blooms. We harvested our ranunculus, lilacs, hellebore and roses. My bouquet complimented my dress in shades of muted pinks, peaches, mauves and smoky lavender. I did order some Lily of the Valley in memory of my mother who died in November and it was the perfect sentimental touch along with her china to serve the cake.

My bouquet was inspired by the soft hues in my dress and included my favorite blooms - ranunculus, hellebore, sweet peas, lily of the valley, blueberries and garden roses.

Walking to join our friends in the garden.

My mother’s china, lily of the valley and the most delicious cake.

It really was the best day of our lives. Our friends and family made heartfelt toasts, our kids were here, our dogs wandered around in their flower collars, the playlist consisted of songs from every band we’ve seen live together, we had a late night bonfire, I wouldn’t change a thing. Thomas and I both feel like we had the perfect wedding. We’re still talking about whether we’ll do a bigger celebration next year on our anniversary so we can celebrate with more friends and family.

Toasts were heartfelt and funny. My sisters Wendy and Beth made us laugh and cry.

Our Wedding Story

How early should I order my flowers?